Aside from that last photography post, I just want to take this time in between heaping sackfuls of school work and bouts of existential crises to do a little rambling since nothing these past few months has been able put me at ease; and maybe sharing something to this webpage has given it a bit of my own soul, so I hope it doesn’t mind if I go on like this.
I’m currently distraught with regards to wanting to further improve my…hobbies? I don’t want to call them “talents” because I don’t think I’m too good at drawing or taking pictures, but they are two of the things I am most passionate about. However, I’ve been dipping into these terrible emotional ruts wherein I just idle around and use my spare time for nothing but staring into the grey interiors of my dorm room. Not good.
Not only that, I recently attended a talk about how to get a career abroad in Psychology and it sounded so extremely dead-end that right after, even though I hate, hate, hate Starbucks, I felt my head throb so intensely out of well, depression, that I just had to get a huge cup of coffee because of well, fear? I still have no real idea if not pursuing art was the right thing to do; maybe it’s not the right path to follow for my well being. However, I am a firm believer that wherever we are in the present is where we are meant to be. I don’t believe in having to force things or to outright demand for things. Things will come, and things get better. It’s a life perspective, I think. Or maybe I’m just a lazy idiot rooting for destiny.
I’ve started reasoning with myself that art comes from the soul, and that I don’t need a college degree to put my soul into a good picture or a nice illustration. Maybe I’m eighteen years old, delusional, and in denial. I don’t know and I might never know. I guess the best thing for me to do is just to focus on self-improvement, yeah? Make the best of what I have?